Episode 38:
Stop Playing the Blame Game

How to  Stop Blaming Others

This week on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we’re looking at all the reasons we play the blame game. 

Some of us are really quick to place the blame on others (do the words it’s all your fault mean anything to you?). For others, it can feel natural to pick up the blame that others are putting down. Don’t worry, though. We’ve got plenty of experience to go around!

So how do you usually play the blame game? Are you someone who habitually makes life problems about someone else? Or maybe you do place a lot of blame, but not on others. Some of us like to place all the blame on ourselves. You might be someone who blames “god” or Fate or some other entity for all the unfortunate things that happen in life.

No matter where you land on this spectrum, we welcome you to the conversation. We’ll look at all the different ways we find fault and assign responsibility. But we won’t stop there.

We’ll look at all these natural tendencies so that we can identify our habits and look toward spiritual tools for growth. It turns out that blaming others is a pretty natural, human strategy. So why do we do this blame shifting?

Blame Makes Sense

According to psychologists, there are a few reasons we blame when stressed. Like we said, it’s a great defense mechanism. If it’s not my fault, then I don’t have to change anything about my behavior or attitudes! Duh, makes so much sense. We also pick up blame when we’re on the defensive and in attack mode. 

Blame also helps us feel like we are making sense of a world we don’t often understand. It turns out we can’t always explain or make sense of the way we act or the way others act. Imputing motive and assigning responsibility is one way we try to manage a world that is outside our control. 

Also, it turns out that people lie when faced with admitting failure and taking self responsibility. Why not just make something up that relieves us of any personal fault or responsibility. Yup, it makes sense. And finally, it’s easier to blame someone else than to take responsibility for your actions. Okay, we get it. Blame makes sense and we all do it.

Tools for Self Responsibility

Wondering how to be an adult and stop making life’s misfortune someone else’s fault? That’s where the tools come in! We’ll look at how to stop playing the blame game and start taking personal responsibility for ourselves and our lives. It turns out that the stance of self responsibility actually feels better to us. Spiritual tools can feel so counterintuitive in that way!

We’ll talk about what it means to take full responsibility for the things that belong to us, as well as what it can look like to set boundaries when people blame us for stuff that actually isn’t ours. Join in the fun now to hear more about the ways we’re shifting our attitudes so that we don’t have to feel so victimized. That’s right, there’s only one thing we do get to take control of: our own attitudes and behaviors. Here’s to owning what’s ours with a sense of humor!

What’s blame like in your life? Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else!